Literature

Refund

One act play

Writer: Fritz Karinthy

Characters:

The Principal

The servant

Wasserkopf

The mathematics teacher

The physics teacher

The geography teacher

The history teacher

The staff

 

This is the story of a former student Wasserkopf, who demands that his tuition should be refunded because he feels his education was worthless. However, he loses his fight when the mathematics master tricks him.  The play “Refund” is full of humor, which deals with an extraordinarily absurd situation.

The servant informed the the head teacher that one man wants to meet him. The principal does not want to meet him as it is not the proper time. However, the servant informed him that he is with beard. As the principal has been sure that he is not a school inspector, the man with forty is called. He is Wasserkopf the one, who studied in the same school. He has been there to get the refund. The principal got shocked to hear this. The principal has asked him how he come to know that he is nothing worth of. The man informed him that people used to tell him he could do nothing. Even his friend Leaderer told him that he did not have any idea, as he did not understand about foreign exchange. Leaderer advised him to get refund of the money from school.

The principal requested the man to wait a while in the waiting room, as it is a serious matter. He has to talked with his staffs before the thing decided.

The staffs come with the conclusion that he should not be failed. If he fails, it will put them awkward position. Likewise, day by day, the number of the pupil will be increased, and there will be really problems.

They come to conclusion that they need to pass him any way. They need to unite to overcome the problems. The man calls them loafers when he enters. The mathematics teacher cunningly valorizes his greeting as a matter of patriarchal like medieval humanist. The man asks him to fail him and give him the money. He tells the history teacher numskull and asks him to put question. As the teacher asks how long did the thirty year war last he answers it lasted in seven days.

 

 

 

Wasserkopf wanted the refund of his tuition fees which were paid eighteen years ago because he was taught badly. When he asks for it, the principal is shocked. The principal is in a peculiar situation now and he calls for an urgent meeting with all other staff members. The masters realized that Wasserkopf’s real intention was to fail in the exam and claim the refund. Therefore, they decided to outsmart the old student by proving all his answers right. The Mathematics Master said that they had to be united and ought to help each other in implementing their plan. The exam was an oral one as Wasserkopf’s refusal to write. They decide that whatever answers he gives whether it is right or wrong they will prove him right.

 

The first question was from the History Master. The Master asked him how many years the ‘Thirty Years’ war lasted. The answer was in the question itself. But Wasserkopf, who was keen on giving wrong answers, said that the ‘Thirty Years war’, lasted seven metres. The History Master did not know how to prove this answer right. Fortunately for him, the Mathematics master aided him by proving that the answer was right on the basis of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. The Master argued that time and space are relative terms and therefore years can be represented in terms of meter. The war took place during half of each day, three hours a day to eat, hours given up to noon day, so totally seven years.  The actual time spent in fighting was seven years and it has been by Einstein’s equivalence of seven meters. Wasserkopf called the History Master a numskull.

 The Physics Master asked Wasserkopf whether clocks in church become smaller if one walks away from it or is it because of optical illusion.  He called The Physics master as an ass.  The master says that the answer is correct because ass does not have any illusion of vision. Therefore, Wasserkopf has given a metaphorical explanation. Wasserkopf called him a cannibal.

 

     The Geography Master asks Wasserkopf for the name of a city which has the same name as the capital of German Providence of Brunswick.  He replied as ‘Same’.  Master said it as the correct answer.  There was a legend that once as the emperor Barbarossa was riding in the city, he met a young peasant (farmer) girl, who was munching a bun mouthful.  He called out her God Bless you and asked her the name of the city, she answered same to you sir for his wishes, and Emperor mistaken the city name as ‘Same’.

 

One by one, each teacher justified his wrong answer to be correct one and they mark him excellent. Though Wasserkopf gives wrong answers and use abusive words to each teacher, they do not show their anger because they have to prove him as an excellent student.

 

At last, the mathematics master asks him a difficult question and an easy question. For the easy question he gives wrong answer and the master gets angry and says that he has failed in his examination so he should be given his tuition fees back. The master says that they have decided to give him his tuition fees back and asks for the exact amount which he has to get. Wasserkopf without knowing that he is going to fall into their trap gives them the list of exact amount. The mathematics master says that was his difficult question and he gave the right answer. Now he is proved excellent in the entire subject and they throw him out without allowing him to say anything further. It shows the ability of the teachers to manage the situation and how they tackle Wasserkopf without spoiling the reputation of their school.